Showing posts with label Isaac. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Isaac. Show all posts

3.14.2011

Once upon a time...

There was a little boy who had a little hat.


A snatch-able hat. A bite-able hat.
A lucky hat.


The care and keeping of such a hat can be very complicated indeed.  This weekend, surgery was necessary.
Pre-surgery:



The procedure itself:


Now fully recovered.


My work was subjected to professional scrutiny:


Apparently, I pass muster. Boy and hat are back in business. 


Next project is already on the needles:

9.16.2010

Resilience

When did September happen?  Why is it that I can't remember August? For the past weeks (weeks that became months) I have hovered outside of it all, wondering if I would ever get the courage again to merge back into the busy traffic of things.  And then, just as all who loved me during this slow fearful time promised, things started to get better.  I went to see lovely Jeanette, who helped me hunt down those wounded thoughts in my mind that wouldn't let me get past the few minutes in July when I was convinced Isaac was gone from me forever.  Then, using EMDR (a technique I don't understand yet have still benefited from) she helped me build the more compassionate thoughts that lead to my favorite of all human traits - resilience.  What a gift.  I am back.  And I've started to take pictures again.  See?

Back in the saddle again:

Chasing chickens, an exercise in persistence:


Persistence paying off:

Broody Jane:
Atticus in flower pot:   


Me in a cat's eye.



8.14.2010

Healing time

The doctors said that after a month (and today it has been a month) all would be healed.  Isaac's brain and body are strong again.  No more danger from an accidental head bump or hard fall.  We can continue as as we were before.  And Isaac agrees with those doctors.  He has been ready to forget all about his fall for several weeks now.  He is healed.  Just look at him this morning during his triumphant return to Saturday morning aikido:

 








  I'm finding, however, that one month is not sufficient healing time for my own injuries.  Those memories of watching Isaac fall, seeing him unresponsive when I called out to him, hearing his confused questions as he regained consciousness, and that long, long ambulance ride to the hospital.  Those memories still hold my heart so tightly sometimes that I feel my blood racing fast under my skin as if it all is happening still.  The strangest things knock me sideways these days.  When Isaac walks down our short driveway to check the mail, a chore he loves, I feel blown over.  What if someone is driving by? What if their attention wavers and they swerve even slightly? I cringe and shiver and hold my breath until he walks back toward me with his armful of junkmail, safe and whole still.  Sometimes even just watching him run as fast as he does almost knocks me flat with fear.  I want to ask him to slow down, be careful, walk gently, for me, please.  But I don't.  I keep the storms of panic tucked away for Isaac.  Don't get me wrong, I know he sees the shadows of my fears.  But for the most part those moments are mine alone.  Because he has healed, even if I have not.  In this thing, he is leading and in my own time, I hope I will follow.   

6.17.2010

Birthday Boy

My nine year boy


After macaroni cheese, cake, ice cream, a little lego time, Isaac and I sat and talked through the last nine years.  The day he was born, coming into the world with a concise little "Meh." His first year of constant grins and giggles.  The second year, when he met his best friend Linden.  The third year, spent horizontal on the floor scooting trains, trucks, and cars around.  Four years old when he started school and met his first teacher, Carrie, who he will love forever.  The 5th year party with the Spider Man bounce house -- how we laughed! Six-year-old Isaac with his jokes and gags (I didn't get them but they were always funny). Seven years is when he moved to Lower El and started eating vegetables (finally!).  When he was eight he became a chicken whisperer, certifiable. 

Then Isaac asked me to sing all of the songs I used to sing.  We did If-I-Were-A-Gorilla and A-You're-Adorable and There-Once-Was a-Farmer and Oh-Lord-Won't-You-Buy-Me.  It was fun.

But when I tucked Isaac in bed, I noticed the turned down corners of his mouth and the little quivery thing that his cheeks do when he's trying not to cry.

"You sad buddy?"
"Well, no."
"Really."
"I guess."
"What made you sad?"
"Just talking about oldy days."

That's what he said.  Just talking about the oldy days.  There were some tears.  And we talked about bittersweetness and nostalgia and how we all feel that way some of the time.  Especially on birthdays. 

I know I do.









6.14.2010

He Bites Because He Cares


And because nobody can resist that hat!


5.06.2010

Calm After Storm

Isaac isn't afraid of storms.  The flicker-flash lightening is not spooky, the crashing thunder is not startling.  And the pounding downpour?  Not worth a second thought.  Don't get me wrong, he's got his things.  But thunderstorms, not one of them.  So, I didn't think twice about the pre-summer storm that had just begun to gust as I tucked him in this evening.  I shifted my tuner to my nightime business and got busy with my chores.  Then was surprised at some point to catch the sound of sobs from the upper regions of his bunk bed. 

"Isaac are you crying?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeees." (hiccup, sob)
"But why?  It's just a thunder storm."
"But they don't know that!" (wail, sob)
"Huh?"
"The chickens! Chickens don't know anything!" (sob, sob, sob)

And then there were more sobs.  So, out we went in the rain and rumbles to check on the chickies.  Isaac shined his giant Mag light in on the snoozers, who cooed out at him curiously.  We both recognized the looks we got from those girls, "Eh? Treats?!?"  What a relief.  It turns out that chickens aren't afraid of storms either. 

Back to bed and snoozing now.  Still stormish outside but all is calm in here.

4.04.2010

Ocklawaha to Eno



It's no secret that I grew up in the woods, in a trailer. It's something I like to tease myself about, especially if I have an audience. I was one of a legion of barefooted tomboys the Ocala National Forest turned out over the decades. But not everyone knows that I grew up in the woods on a river. The Ocklawaha River, to be precise, the muddy step-sister of the pristine, spring-fed Silver River, famous in Florida for its glass-bottomed boats and gigantic cyprus trees inhabitated by mysterious chattering families of feral monkeys. So, it wasn't just the bare feet, but also long pony-tailed hair perpetually dredded with river water, and shorts bottoms that were never anything but wet from a bathing suit underneath and muddy from river bank play. I remember always being sticky and sun-burnt and a heathen, really. When we were kids, we could spend a whole day cruising Juniper Run in a canoe, letting the river do all the work as we glided past 15 foot gators sunning themselves, great (and I mean great big) blue herons fishing for their suppers, and hordes of turtles piled cattywompus on partially capsized logs, all but an armspan away.  As children, we really had no sense of the surreal, I promise you.

Anyway, I thought I jumped that ship a long time ago.  Stepped out of the current and brought myself north to urban Durham, North Carolina, and Duke University, the proverbial fish out of river water.  I never joked even once, at Duke, about the woods or the trailor.  I knew, somehow, that it wouldn't have been funny. And I got used to thinking about Then and Now like they happened to two different people.



But this weekend, after a beautiful day lingering in the Eno River,which rumbles less than a mile from our house, Isaac said to me, "I feel sorry for people who don't have their very own river."
"Huh," I said, "Me too." And I surely meant it.  Guess that still makes me a river kid, doesn't it?  Wonder what that does to the whole Then and Now distinction. 

Just look at those river kids:

Jada is a water pixie and she promised to that her stick could mix a birthday present just for me out of the whole, entire river together:

Critter hunting:

Even a snake's heart isn't unaffected by Spring.  Look, they are making love:



The boys ran wild, roaring through the water:

They would disappear at times, so I would wade down a ways until I spotted them playing together on the bank:

Or sword-fighting down by the bridge:

Tiny Dog doesn't like to get his paws wet, but he kept watch over his children at all times:

That face! Oh, how I love that little face!

Thank you, Eno, our very own river.

3.11.2010

Jail Birds

I have lately begun to find my breakfast in the oddest of places. Under the deck, behind the toolshed, beside the back steps, and one time inside a flower pot. Consequently the girls have been grounded -- on lockdown until they can demonstrate knowledge of the difference between a true nest and a random pile of dried leaves on the ground.  They don't care much for confinement, but in just a few days they'll regain their freedom.  That is, until the day they fail the Nest Test again. Repeat offenders beware!


We got a nice clutch of five eggs today, all laid in the correct spot:


My little fox cub raiding the hen house: